Yours always

On the sea shore with tides touching my feet and a distant lightning moon witnessing me I held my eyes staring high.Because you are a shining star in the dark sky.

I began to recall all the chattering of ours and our long night outs ,our giggles,our stories of life.

And then I wonder where all of them flew,or may be you took them away from me along with you.

I don’t have a place for happiness in my heart.I don’t smile like before,dress like before,talk like before ,live like before.All I can think is,which I never wanted to be remembered ,it is four of the men carrying you in a coffin and in which you were not a person anymore ,but just a body.

I sit there on the sand and wonder why aren’t you here with me.I jump with my hand trying to hold you.I fall .I try again knowing I will fall.

I am not complaining officer infact I am proud of you for loving you ,and proud for chosing your own death unlike us all.You died for the nation but you are immortal for me.


Love your body

My daughter ,a 10 year old once asked me “What is a pimple?”.We were on a cushion watching cartoon on a TV and I stopped sipping my coffee to  stare at her chubby cheeks  and pinkish face,I didn’t find any! well,not then.

Daughter: Maa , what is it? How does it come?

Me:(I thought for a while and all that could flash in my mind is smaller me:-:-:-I was also same worrying about my face,beauty and body,I did not know what to answer her,I don’t want her to grow up like me,so I cooked it up) Sweety ,It is just a sign that you are growing up and don’t you worry ,because it will vanish sooner than you discover it.

Daughter: When will it vanish for you?

Me: (I was pity about her class teacher on how was she handling this cute questionnaire )I smiled and said it doesn’t bother me any more ,because it makes your mama more beautiful ,isn’t it?

Daughter:No,you were good with out it.

And she ran to her friends waiting for her to play.I was there sitting thinking how  to convince my kiddo.But look at her age,Not only she had not crossed puberty but she doesn’t know what it is.One afternoon ,it was Sunday and I was washing dishes ,she pointed at my waist and said “what are those scars?”(Those were my stretch marks).I wanted to stop her immediately talking about all these bodily changes.

It was night the same day and we were in a bedroom when I started to narrate on “Kalpana Chawla”.(Well, I prepared for it the whole evening).And I was so happy when she was excited about every part of the biography.

Me:She died in a space shuttle  just before entering into earth.

Daughter:(She got up from my lap  and exclaimed) “she died!!!”.

Me:(I smiled and said) No, she is re living in my story.So,”When are you growing up to  be great like her?

Daughter:Very soon,and I will be greater to her.

Few weeks passed and I did not see her thinking about all the old stuff. In fact ,she bought a book named “Women who inspired the world” from library.You should have seen me then,I was proud of her already.Eventually,she never spoke about them then after.It is not only story of my daughter but story of every girl and woman striving for a shaped body not for her.Our women body is often compared to an Apple shape,Spoon shape and Hourglass shape.It is not about the shape ,the other factors like :thin or fat,height or short,white or black .They don’t define you nor your beauty.You are more than a size,length,color and shape.You don’t live for yourself and you are the reason for  lives.For you are a mother,daughter,sister,friend and a girlfriend.No one’s ever here to judge you about your body.You are a way more beautiful with your work,patience,caring,loving and living.Love your body anyway and stay healthy.